How Much History?

I have been blessed with a phenomenal memory; or I have been cursed with a phenomenal memory. I’m not sure which it is. But I remember …

I remember things that are shaping my life today. I do not wish to be an intrusive mother-in-law. I want to be someone that is seen in a positive light. I do not wish to butt in where I’m not wanted. I do not wish to intimidate. I do not wish to be the focus of a twisted joke.

My own mother could say things to me that my mother-in-law could not. It is the way of the world. Even if they were the exact same things, I found it easier to hear from my mother. Not easy, just easier.

I have vast experience in raising children as evidenced by the fact that my sons are alive and well and adult. I did it. I have ideas about the right and wrong way to raise children. They are admittedly old-fashioned because I did all this raising long ago.

My mother-in-law has been a wonderful grandmother. She always had a drawer full of surprises for grandchildren when they visited. She liked having them around.

My mother-in-law was a stay at home mom and that colored her perception of what a mother should be doing. I was not a stay at home mom and that colored my own perception of what could be done in available hours.

Not once in their lives have my children told me that my furniture was dusty or that my dishes were not properly stowed in the dishwasher. They do not care today and they certainly did not care when they were children.

What my children were interested in was playing or reading or being together. I would choose to read a book to them rather than dust. Even today, I would choose to read a book rather than dust, but it is no longer Green Eggs and Ham.

I have sons. I know that a man’s home is his castle. I also know that the home belongs to the woman.

I am so worried about stepping on toes that I made an error in judgment. Who knew? I thought that a high chair would be a great thing to have. I could even give great reasons for a high chair. But I’ve never seen a high chair and it seemed so outright intrusive to buy one without approval. I should have. I have a high chair in my trunk right now. It’s not as nice as the one I could have had for ten bucks less.

I have to build my own relationship with my daughter-in-law. I can recall what I found to be less positive in my own relationship with my own mother-in-law and not do that. But I am not her, she is not me, my daughter-in-law is not me, and I have to forget.

But with that phenomenal memory thing …