My New Hero

Roy Baumeister, PhD and Professor of Psychology at Florida State University analyzed about 15,000 studies that averred that increasing self-esteem would help everybody. First, he found that only 200 studies actually held to rigid scientific standards. And those studies proved exactly the opposite of the general mantra. Telling people they are wonderful doesn't make them wonderful. Wow!

Dr. Baumeister said, "There's no question you get the best results with highly contingent praise and criticism. That means praising exactly what you did right and criticizing exactly what you did wrong. Just praising kids regardless of how they do contains very little useful information; if anything, it has a negative effect on learning. I've had to revise my opinions about self-esteem several times; I'm kind of done with it. I don't think it can deliver much of what we want. Self-control, self-regulation – these give a whole lot more bang for the buck, deliver a lot more in practical results. I think self-esteem is relegated, if not to Siberia, at least to the Urals."

I wonder how long it will take to make everyone realize that the self-esteem bandwagon was far more band and it wasn't going anywhere. We have raised a generation of kids who are horrible at fact finding. Even if you can't find the Pacific Ocean on the globe is no reason to feel bad about anything and you are still good at geography. Just because you can't spell or write a complete sentence is no reason to doubt your ability to become the next best-selling author.

It seems that some of the authorities are finally noticing that simple praise, especially unearned praise, is counter-productive. Why should anyone strive to improve if they are perfect just they way they are? This is the crux of the self-esteem problem. Not everything we do is perfect. Most things are far from hitting anywhere close to the mark. When we are given constructive help in finding the errors, we have a chance of correcting them. When we tell Little Snowflake that everything is the best ever, Little Snowflake never sees where to place extra effort in order to improve.

Education has taken the stance that telling students that they are doing well is somehow supposed to make everybody brilliant. Some schools have stopped honor rolls because Snowflake might get his or her little feelings hurt because the attained GPA doesn't meet the standards. So the kids who worked their tails off to actually earn good grades aren't permitted to do any of that "showing off" stuff so that the less smart (or less driven) students don't feel bad.

They go to college and spend an entire year taking non-credit remedial classes so that they might be able to do college level work. Why hasn't anyone noticed that high schools are turning out many of their students unable to continue on with education at a higher level? And these are colleges that are offering watered down curricula.

I'm not sure who started this whole tell-them-they-are-perfect crap. It should have been obvious long ago that it isn't working. Instead, the loony tunes who sing this song just keep saying that we aren't instilling enough self-esteem in the children.

It is called self-esteem because it is something you see for yourself. You feel good about yourself when you actually achieve something. We aren't born knowing everything. We must learn it. When we finally master something, a sense of accomplishment leads to an increased sense of self worth and mastery. Even the dumb kids can see when their papers aren't like the smart kids' papers. And yes, even at a very young age, we know who is smart and who isn't. The smart kids always know the right answers. They always can answer. But even they – the smart kids – don't know everything. And they can improve. If someone would simply point out the exact place where improvement is possible.