Good Drivers Gone Bad

Most drivers think they are above average in their ability to maneuver motor vehicles. Way more than half of drivers believe they are in the top half. They probably drive as well as they compute mathematical problems.

Many drivers use their cell phones while cruising down the road. Some are merely chatting while others are texting their many close friends. Most who do this insist it does not impair their ability to control their cars, trucks, or SUVs. And yet …

While sharing the road with the above named drivers, one is often able to witness erratic behaviors. Vehicles bob and weave, speed up briefly, and then slow down. They are inattentive and have difficulty wending their way amidst the hazards on the road or even something as simple as turning a corner. (It was the turning a simple corner that got this idea started today.) When the out of control vehicle can finally be passed safely, invariable the driver is: 1.) older than dirt and nagged God at the creation or 2.) on the phone.

We all know how annoying those old people can be. They can't see or hear well, their judgment is impaired, and reaction times have slowed. Old people grew up in times when things were slower. The speeds on the nation's highways go faster than ever. They are timid and unsure and get in the way of the people with Places To Go.

Those people, the ones with Destinations, are on the phone updating their wide group of friends about the erratic driving of the old coot in front of the caller. As soon as possible, they whip around the offending old person, oblivious of oncoming traffic or barely missing another car while changing lanes. The old fart is passed, the caller resumes (only if we are all lucky) the driving lane, becomes engrossed in a new conversation, and slows down by at least twenty miles per hour.

Then I, the driver behind them both, get a chance to once again compare and contrast the bad drivers in front of me. Frankly, I don't see much difference. Driving is a privilege and a responsibility. If you are too old and feeble, I'm terribly sorry but you don't belong on the road. You are danger to yourself and others. If you are on the phone – Hang up and drive. You are just as much a danger as the old fart you despise.