An Open Letter to My Son

The hauntings of late night angst can be debilitating. The light of day usually casts a different shadow and allows for clearer thinking. That doesn't mean that the dark thoughts of the night were wrong, only that they were perhaps transient.

What does it take to be happy? For an infant, fed and warm with Mommy close by is pretty much the sum total of happiness. As we move forward from this too brief time, it changes. The requirements get ever more complicated.

Happiness may be found in the moment or may take years of special planning and execution in order to gain access to the bolted doors of the Castle of Happiness. But the entire mystery is that the doors open on to nothing.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. People who win the lottery are momentarily exhilarated. And then it all disappears. Maybe the money disappears as well, but the brief moment of total joy is gone even when the money remains.

That is because like all good things, joy is brief. Lasting happiness is in finding moments of joy on a regular and frequent basis. No one is giddily happy all the time. If they were, they would be either a lunatic or have very low standards. Or else, they are lying.

Being able to enjoy the sunshine, or the thunderstorm, is a gift. Finding the good in the moment is a gift. Everyone can find joy in a baby's smile, but the glimmer of glory days past in an old man's eyes is also cause for joy – if you have the right perspective.

Happiness and success are not the same thing. One does not guarantee the other. They are not at all connected. To be happy, one does not need success unless success is defined as finding happiness in the moment. Success does not guarantee happiness, either.

While both of these – happiness and success – can be goals, they are not the only possible means to a glorified end. Living a moral life, living so that the world is better for your having passed through, is a more noble goal.

What with all these goals, one might be inclined to think that busy, busy, busy is a way of life. But all these things can be achieved in stillness as well as in activity. Stillness does not necessarily mean idleness.

I spend time staring at nothing, gathering my thoughts, planning my work. Without a plan, I won't know what I'm aiming at and if I've hit the mark. Revitalizing the soul happens in the quiet moments. There is no glory in constant movement if the movement doesn't create a consistent whole at some point.

It is okay to sit and think. It is okay to sit and idle. It is okay to move only when you have a plan for the movement. We need not force ourselves into activity just for the sake of appearing busy – unless the boss walks into the room. Not every moment is made for activity. Some moments are simply made for the moment. Entire in itself.

Deep thoughts in the night can lead to all sorts of things. Good and bad things. A call to a better day or a call to disillusionment. If you find disillusionment in the nights, perhaps it means you should change the ways you spend your days. Seeking only happiness is a shallow life. Success may be defined as a million dollars or more in the United States, but that is another shallow measure.

Success is liking what you have. Simple. In a complicated way.